Are In-Home services more expensive?

Regularly I am asked this question so I wanted to address it on my blog knowing that it is a sensitive topic. I have practiced at both an animal hospital and my mobile service that provides home euthanasia for dogs and cats in the Triangle and surrounding areas. I feel that both of my unique professional experiences gives me good insight on this issue.

My house call visits typically last on average around 2 hours. This can vary depending on how much the pet parents and I talk, and the overall experience that the family is wanting. I am trained in pet loss guidance and I like to spend the first part of the visit just talking and getting to know the pet and the pet parents as well as going over the procedure in detail and answering any questions. My goal is to have the family feel as comfortable as possible. With my mobile veterinary service I never overbook myself. When I show up to help a family I am 100% focused on their needs and the needs of the pet. If the family chooses to, I also take care of all the aftercare arrangements including meeting with the crematorium provider after the in-home appointment.

Hospitals are often loud and busy places. Typically the clinician is handling multiple fur babies and has much less time to meet with the families and discuss the procedure or offer pet loss guidance. I know from speaking with families who decided to say goodbye to their beloved pet in hospitals that they often felt rushed to say goodbye and wished they had chosen a more intimate setting. I know from the experience of working in both practices that in-home euthanasia is not for everyone, just as saying goodbye within a hospital setting is not for everyone. Cost does play a role in whether some families decide to say goodbye to their pets at home. I’m proud to offer a compassionate alternative to pet parents so they have more choices when it is time to say goodbye.

Loss and Grief with Dr. Holland

The loss of your dog or cat is one of the hardest things that a pet parent has to navigate.

Throughout this journey of the final life stage, there are an array of emotions that can come up. I have had to say goodbye to beloved fur babies and the grief has been intense. Here are some things that have come up in me as I have traveled along the path of grief and loss and to finally finding happiness again.

Is it crazy for this to hurt so much?

No. The grief that I have felt for a beloved pet passing surpasses anything that I have felt for another human in their passing. Pets are often the center of the home and the focus of our love and attention. They comfort us and they know us fully, including our habits and secrets. They are often our “mini-me’s” and it’s only natural that with a relationship that strong and meaningful that we could have a powerful amount of grief.

Here are the 6 stages of grief and how they may show up in the process of losing a pet:

Shock and disbelief- the first responses to the loss of a beloved pet. This can last anywhere from a few hours to several days.
Anger, alienation and distancing- anger can come up in many forms. Often there is anger about the disease that took your baby, or at the Dr. that wasn’t able to save them. Anger when carried to an extreme level can keep you from moving through the healing process and fully experiencing grief.
Denial- having trouble accepting that your fur baby is really gone. Typically this stage is very quick and is rooted in fantasy.
Guilt- the more that you loved your baby, the more likely you are to experience guilt. Experiencing guilt on some level is very natural as we rethink the final life stage of your fur baby and the decisions made for care at the end.
Depression- It is normal to feel depression with intense mourning. With the loss of all my babies and in particular my kitty Mantis, the depression was pretty marked. I would wake up in the morning and ask myself, “Will I ever be happy again?”. I was already in therapy at the time Mantis passed and I used sessions to process this incredible loss. *If the depression becomes too intense or prolonged than one should seek help from a trained professional
Resolution- a time for spiritual healing. In this final stage, we move through the grief and are able to hold onto the memories and the love of our beloved while moving forward with life’s activities.

How can I process my feelings?

The most therapeutic thing we can do is lean into our emotions and pain. In order to get through the other side of grief, we have to feel deeply and sit with the heartbreak and anguish of the loss. Bottling it up and pretending we are ok will only delay the healing process. I have found it especially helpful to speak with my trusted therapist or friends that are pet people. Getting the feelings out is the most important part of the healing process. Crying is one of the most cleansing and cathartic things that we can do for the soul. Other ways to process and move grief through your body: exercise, dance, meditation, journaling, etc. Express yourself and try not to hold it in.

I have been lucky to be surrounded by other pet people during my grieving process. If you don’t have pet people in your inner circle, seek them out. This type of understanding can be so very helpful in your healing journey.

Some practical suggestions:

Find other sympathetic and supportive people to lean on to get your feelings out in a safe environment.

Allow emotions to flow, don’t bottle them up.

It’s never too late to say something to your beloved deceased pet. Write a letter to them sharing how much you love recounting the special memories that you have.

Dedicate or donate something in your pet’s name. Knowing that they are helping other fur babies is a way for them to continue on.

Establish new routines at home. Pets, more than anything in our lives, are rooted in our living patterns. Don’t be scared to shake things up!

Hold some sort of private service or memorial for your pet. This can be as simple or as involved as you wish.

Attend a pet loss or bereavement support group. Allow yourself to share fully and experience the grief in a safe space.

If/When you are ready to bring a new fur baby into your life, tell them stories of your beloved one who passed.

My pet has been given a terminal diagnosis, what now?

The process that a family goes through to reach the decision of euthanasia for a beloved family pet can be one of the toughest things they ever have to go through.

What can make the decision even harder is knowing your pet has a terminal diagnosis and seeing that he or she seems fine – today. Depending on the diagnosis, many pets can quickly end up in an emergency situation that may be painful or extremely stressful on the pet and pet parent. Having your veterinarian provide you with as much information as possible about the diagnosis and what to expect in a timeline format can help families prepare for the ultimate loving decision of euthanasia.

So how do families decide what to do? This decision is personal and every individual approaches and deals with death differently. I always recommend to pet parents to envision how they want to say goodbye. I’ve come to people’s homes where the pet is still doing fairly well and the family was able to take the pet on a final walk, take some pictures, and feed a special meal. In these situations the families saw the appointment as a celebration of life and they wanted saying goodbye to be on a very uplifting experience. Other families that I have helped wait until there is a change in the quality of life of their pet such as the pet not eating or walking. There is not a wrong answer, just what feels right in your heart. I am honored to help pets and families with these difficult choices. My practice covers the Triangle. In my experience as a veterinarian, home euthanasia offers a very loving alternative to brining your pet into a hospital. It also offers a more private and stress free environment for the pet and pet parent.

Azure

When is hospice right for my pet?

I get asked about pet hospice when I meet with families so I hope to help explain a little more.

Pet hospice is often thought of in the same way we think of human hospice, that is, to provide comfort during the final phases of life. When I help families with pet hospice the Triangle, I am meeting with them and their pet and assessing the current care needs to provide comfort. Some families are not ready to say goodbye yet or wish for the pet to pass over the rainbow bridge naturally. I will provide a short term care plan that may include fluids or nutrition, etc. I spend time with the family and instruct them on what to expect during this time and the different ways they can make their pet more comfortable. Pet hospice is also about education so that my families will understand the process and what they can do at home.

Azure

When is it Time?

Why Home Euthanasia for Your Pet?

I’ve found in brick and mortar practices, that euthanasia appointments can feel very impersonal and often take place in cold sterile exam rooms. Families are also forced to start the grieving process in a public setting. In a regular hospital setting, the Doctor often cannot devote 100% of their attention to the pet or the family with rarely time to offer any bereavement guidance. I’ve seen pets come to the hospital for euthanasia who have just endured a terrifying car ride and are now faced with being in a hospital where stress or painful procedures may have happened in the past. Hospitals are busy places with other patients coming in and out and many other people waiting and busy staff. My experience has shown me there is a much better way to honor and say goodbye to the family members who have been so loyal and loving to us.

When I go to a home, I am completely focused on the dog or cat and the family. I do everything I can to make this very hard situation just a little bit easier. I spend time with the pet and also focus on the parents and what they are going through. The whole process is very gentle. Your companion gets to be at home surrounded by familiarity and love. Sometimes owners will give treats before the sedation, or have a special toy there to comfort their beloved pet. I try to tailor each experience for the pet and family. Some families invite their friends over to send their pet off with good wishes, and still others choose to curl up with their pet on the sofa and spend the last few minutes together as they have spent most of their lives. I feel honored to have been there for my clients who have let me into their families and if I can be of any assistance to you, please reach out.

Azure

Pecan Pie’s Tips for Surviving the Holidays. Literally.

This time of the year more than most I hear a lot of my friends having to make unnecessary trips to the Vet’s office which is not a fun place most of the time, however, since my Mom works there, I don’t mind visiting.

The tree is a lot of fun and many friends have had trouble with those light cords. I have asked my mom and Dad to unplug the cord just to be safe while they are out.

My Mom tells me that during the holidays she sees more ingested items such as ornaments, parts of presents and other decorations which can lead to expensive surgeries, so get your pet parents to look out for small items like this and put the breakable smaller ornaments up higher on the tree.

I love this time of the year the most for new food items to sample, but I am told they are not good for me and that I need to stick to my cat food. Human food can be high in sugar and carbohydrates that are bad for me and can lead to long term health conditions that are no fun.

So stay safe out there, and resist all efforts to be put in a costume! As you can see I have not been successful.

By Pecan Pie (with assistance from Dr. Holland)

Dr. Janelle Fenlason Joins Our Practice

We are so happy to welcome Dr. Janelle Fenlason to our practice. Janelle has a real passion for helping families and their pets. “I realized I needed to offer more availability on the weekends and evenings, Janelle was a perfect fit and I really think families are going to appreciate getting to know her, I know I have.” Dr. Azure Holland.

Dr. Fenlason grew up in Europe as an ARMY brat. Her family moved back to the United States and she finished high school in Northern Virginia. From there she went to attend Wilson College in Chambersburg, PA. She then accepted an opening in St. George’s University School of Veterinary Medicine in Grenada where she did a dual program that helped her attain her Master’s in Public Health while studying for her Doctorate of Veterinary Medicine. Dr. Fenlason did her last year of veterinary school at North Carolina State School of Veterinary Medicine and is now working in a local hospital where she concentrates on companion animals when she is not comforting pets in their homes.

Janelle always wanted a dog growing up and this happened once they returned to the United States. Her family adopted a Labrador Retriever mix named Indiana who immediately filled their hearts and home. After several years when it was time to relieve him of his suffering from bone cancer, Dr. Fenlason asked her veterinarian to come to their home since Indy was always very nervous and anxious at the hospital. She was very fortunate to be able to make the last moments peaceful and not rushed by the everyday happenings of a hospital. From that day Dr. Fenlason wanted to make the hardest part of sharing a life with our four-legged friends as peaceful and loving as possible.

Dr. Fenlason commits her time to pet parents’ knowledge and understanding of what is going on with their ‘friend’ and provides a service that she would expect for her four-legged children. Never hesitate to ask questions and let your concerns and ideas known. She wants to make the last moments with your beloved friend as memorable and with less stress as possible.

Janelle and her husband have two children, Priscilla and Garreth and two four-legged children, Jack the Rottweiler mix and Medulla the opinionated kitty. Janelle enjoys spending time with her family, reading and meeting new people.

Pecan Pie’s Tips for Surviving the Holidays. Literally.

This time of the year more than most I hear a lot of my friends having to make unnecessary trips to the Vet’s office which is not a fun place most of the time, however, since my Meowmie works there, I don’t mind visiting.

The tree is a lot of fun and many friends have had trouble keeping away from those light cords. I have asked my parents to unplug the cord just to be safe while they are out.

My Meowmie tells me that during the holidays she sees more ingested items such as ornaments, parts of presents and other decorations which can lead sick pets and expensive treatments and surgeries. To keep me safe she doesn’t put anything ingestible on or under the tree.

I personally love this time of the year most for new food items to sample, but I am told they are not good for me and that I need to stick to my cat food. Human food can be high in sugar, salt and fats and can lead to tummy aches, diarrhea and pancreatitis. My Meowmie knows that I’m happiest when I’m feeling well.

So stay safe out there, and resist all efforts to be put in a costume! As you can see I have not been successful.

By Pecan Pie (with interpretation from my Meowmie Dr. Holland)

How do I know when it is time to put my pet to sleep?

This is one of the hardest questions I get asked. I have recently told a family to talk to your pet, they will tell you when it is time. That may sound like strange advice, put it is true. As pet owners we all know when our pet is trying to tell us something. I have met with folks that often struggle with this issue and I have used the quality of life scale developed by Dr. Alice Villalobos as a guide to help owners access their pet’s current quality of life. I have posted Dr. Villalobos scale for you to download and work through. Please feel free to call me to discuss your pet’s specific situation, I always offer free consultations. I am honored to serve familes with my mobile vet service in Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill.

Quality Of Life worksheet

Azure

The Psychology of Grieving for your Pet by Drew Elliot

A very good friend of mine, Drew Eillot, recently interviewed me for an article he wrote, “The Psychology of Grieving for Your Pet.” I was honored that he reached out to me for this very helpful article. I have posted a link below to the story in the Holly Springs Sun. I have experienced pet loss myself and I find it very important to be able to have an ongoing dialogue with others about the loss. Azure

Link to Drew’s Story, The Psychology of Grieving for your Pet